I don’t get how it’s so hard for people to be decent human beings. I mean, it’s not that hard. I hate the fact that I can’t trust anyone with anything. People are so unreliable but yet I keep extending my arm out to those who don’t even deserve one finger. When will it ever be my turn to relax. when will people hit me up to hang out, when will i have to stop trying. i hate how people lie. and how they keep making up more lies on top of that lie just to keep their pathetic game going. i get that it’s hard for a liar to tell the truth. but don’t you think people deserve more than just lies? don’t you think for one second that there are things bigger than your damn self? or is it that hard to be a decent human being. it’s a good thing that i only trust myself. but it’s a bad thing too. it’s so hard for me to emotionally connect to people because i’m always having to look back to monitor everyones hidden motives. and that’s just because i’ve been hurt so many times that i’m pretty much scarred. and i don’t want to be that person. i don’t want to be weary of everyones motives. i want to be able to trust people. but i can’t. and i won’t let myself be that weak person that crumbles every time a situation doesn’t go right.

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i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately. i don’t know why. despite everything that happened a little part of me still thinks that you’d be the perfect person that I could be able to rely on. not even as a boyfriend. just as a friend. a best friend. something that we used to be. now you’re just somebody that i used to know.

we both moved on. that’s pretty much apparent. I just want to be friends. you’re the only one I could fully put my trust into.